32 Questions for Central Uster

We’ve been around since:
Summer 2024. Since 2005, the old cinema auditorium on the ground floor has been used as a theatre stage.

What we do in 3 words:
Bringing the place to life.

Our guiding principle is:
Abnormal, normal, whatever – the main thing is that you come to the Central!

Our annual budget:
Just under half a million.

We receive our funding from ...
... the City of Uster, the Canton of Zurich, a number of sponsors and, to a not insignificant extent, from our audience.

If we had an extra million at our disposal each year, we would...
...produce more and have our office cleaned.

We are most efficient ...
... before lunch.

We are least efficient ...
... after lunch.

For the people of Uster, the Central is something like ...
... the opera for the people of Zurich.
... the MOMA for New Yorkers.
... the ZDF Traumschiff for pensioners.
... the Knie Circus for the poor. ✓

Our programme ...
... provokes.
... educates. ✓
... seeks out the new. ✓
... is occasionally old-fashioned.
... breaks with convention.
... defies expectations. ✓
... adapts to global political events. ✓
... regularly provokes indignant emails.
... is actually self-explanatory.
... brings different people together. ✓

Our programme is tailor-made for ...
... lone wolves.
... midlife crises. ✓
... Swifties.
... Tinder dates.
... School trips.
... a Sunday with the mother-in-law.
... pensioners’ excursions.
... a trip to the Zurich Oberland.

We primarily concern ourselves ...
... with the past.
... with the present. ✓
... with the future.

Through our programme, we promote ...
... love. ✓
... knowledge. ✓
... critical thinking. ✓
... alternative facts.
... irony. ✓
... spirituality.
... faith.
... world peace.
... nature conservation.
... irrationality. ✓
... justice.
... confidence. ✓

The advantages of a multi-genre theatre are ...
... you never know what’s coming.
... there’s something for everyone.
... if the theatre gets too much for us, we simply switch to music. ✓
... Oh! Artistic genres are a thing of the 20th century, after all.

If our programme were a dish, it would be ...
... a Quattro Stagioni pizza.

We’re about to break this taboo:
We’re producing an open-air Western with only men and ponies on stage.

A persistent rumour surrounding our work goes:
The Central Uster is a cinema.

We’d love to see this superstar, dead or alive, on our stage one day:
Hildegard Knef

If we didn’t exist, our audience would probably ...
... go to Millers in Zurich.

Cultural life in Uster has something you won’t find anywhere else in the world, and that would be...
... the Hinterhalt Festival.

For cultural life in Uster, we would like to see ...
... rehearsal stages and more daring.

The best drink at our bar is ...
... the one after a performance has been successfully completed.

For wheelchair users, our hotel is ...
... fully equipped.

By inclusion, we mean ...
... our natural hospitality.

This is how many people work for us:
3 permanent staff

By team spirit, we mean ...
... that we can have a proper discussion.

The average wage of our staff ...
... is the result of tough negotiations.

We recently made this mistake:
We overestimated Generation Alpha’s willingness to dance.

The hardest part of our work is...
... the balancing act between artistic standards and financial viability.

The best thing about our work is ...
... being autonomous.

Working for culture is worthwhile because ...
... hope dies last.

We’d also like to let you know:
The S-Bahn from Stadelhofen takes you to us in 11 minutes!